I attempted to write this piece two days before the New Year 2020, but my writing for this was too premature. Essentially, I needed more time to think. As I’ve gotten older and learned more about my own writing – I’ve recognized that I could not force something just because I wanted it at that moment. So here’s an end of the decade lesson right here:
Don’t force, instead, wait until you’re ready.
So here’s my second attempt to get these thoughts on the screens of readers on January 1st 2020 6:51am:
As you grow older your perspectives change. I use to view the start of the new year simple as that. But this time around, coming full completion of my very first decade as an adult, my reflection process was different than the normal New Year’s resolutions.
At the start of the decade, in 2010, I had graduated high school and welcomed my baby brother in the world, but that was only the start of life’s ups and downs. I was turning eighteen and getting ready to attend college – and so I did.
Now that I look back, in the moment I had absolutely no idea what was going on, I was blinded in so many ways, naturally so (eighteen is so young and in many ways, still so innocent). This decade taught me more than I thought I could handle. My family planned for things and things turn out differently — I learned adjustment. I loved a person and things turn sour before my eyes — I learned heartbreak. I spoke to a person and hours later they are no longer on this earth — I learned how to process grief.
But life did not stop (really, it felt like someone pressed a speed button), so I had to figure it out along the way. I wasn’t exactly sure how I would get through it, but I grew up with the understanding that faith exists, so I continued to move forward — and so, I learned how to water my own seeds and grow.
The decade that now sits behind us has been a host of my greatest lessons. A crash course on all life’s quirks, beauty and darkness in the same package. In many ways I feel that I closed my eyes for a spell and when I opened, the decade was over. Confirmation that time is deeper than our Apple watches, phones or the clock on the wall.
As the decade sent us on our way and into a new whirlwind of unexpected life events, successes, accomplishments, rejections and loses; one must acknowledge one simple thing: I MADE IT. YOU MADE IT. WE MADE IT. Think back to the start of the decade we just parted ways from and reflect on those who celebrated the New Year (2010) with us. Now acknowledge who is standing with you now and who isn’t. Take this two ways: acknowledging those that you no longer have contact with and acknowledging those who are no longer here with you on this earth.
My father was my biggest lost. April 2014 is stamped in my memory bank forever. The greatest pain I’ve experienced so far at a pivotal moment in life where everything was happening so fast. To have your parent call you the night before to wish you luck on your final exam, and to wake in the morning with news that they will never speak a word to you in this physical realm again. LET THAT SIT. To add, I’ve lost contact with a few. Those being intimate partnerships and friends. It’s simple once you get off the island of heartbreak. The truth is: We grew apart from each other. Maybe I wasn’t good for them, maybe there weren’t good for me. But here’s the real, WE didn’t work out (and that’s okay), leaving me (and maybe them as well) to sit in that ridiculous pain we think will never go away. I now know that I would rather not work out with someone and part ways, then to stick around and literally do just that: Stick around.
In that decade, I started to check accomplishments off my list (the list that I created along the way). I graduated from college, and then graduated again from college. Started a doctoral program that I am truly enjoying and growing academically daily. I got that job, traveled internationally (multiple times) for the first time, purchased that car, spoke in front of crowds where I had the opportunity to share my passion, etc. I lived in that apartment, paid bills and made grown-up mistakes. But I was living that Boss life social media (because that decade was the birth of all great things social media) advertises to you, or at least I thought I was. I chased and went after all the things the American Dream told me I wanted. But deep down, as I gradually matured, became conscious and respected my changing view of life I knew that THESE check marks were NOT my end all, be all. During this decade I became comfortable with my authentic self, no longer worrying about who cares or who doesn’t, who sees or who doesn’t. I am loving the growth that allows me to tap into my internal self and bring my true powers outward. For those reasons I am eternally grateful.
Through my pain of the decade, rejections, failures and so forth I started to shift my mindset. I no longer wanted the job, but now had a desire for space to make a difference. I no longer wanted the paycheck, but now had a desire for wealth and comfort to leave the generations that are coming behind me. I no longer wanted to just travel, but had a desire to be immersed in cultures, traditions and customs of communities and people across the globe. I no longer wanted that apartment, but had a desire for land and lots to build from. I no longer wanted the expensive piece of paper we all call “degree”, but had a desire to critical think, analytically process, and gain timeless knowledge. The last leg of this decade, 2019, was a year of mental preparation. As we arrive into this new time block, I know that this upcoming decade will be the perfect time to make all of the last decades desires become reality.
I am completely grateful for 20-teens. They were years of much need growing, reflection and practicing. I am also accepting upfront all of the blessings that are in store for 2020s. With peace in my heart, the years that sit before us will include all of our hearts desires.
I leave you all on this day, January 1st 2020 with this affirmation:
I am greater than I was, with room to be greater. I am beautiful inside and out. I am needed, wanted and love. I do not let social standards and expectation define who I am, instead I am the definer of everything I wish to be. I will move with peace, love and happiness. I will not be moved by negativity or the pain of others. I will sit still and hear the whisper of my ancestors. I will accomplish each goal I have for myself and reach beyond.
Be Bold. Be True. Be Mentally Rich.
bementallyrich.com 